I have to admit, sometimes it is just plain, damn difficult to think of life’s grand design when shit hits the fan.  My mom was a single mom for half of my life.  I don’t know if this is generally a common result, but I am EXTREMELY protective of my mommy.  God forbid someone should hurt or upset her…I come out with guns blazing.  I grew even more protective when she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue about 12 years ago.  I was forced to watch my mom change from an energetic, vivacious woman, to someone who has to battle with constant pain and exhaustion.  The simplest tasks like taking a shower would exhaust her.  It came to the point where she couldn’t work anymore.  That was a major blow to my mom.  Like me, she is incredibly independent and had always wanted to do everything herself.  So facing disability was a big pill to swallow.  But she accepted it, mind me, not give in, but realized she had limitations now.  There were times throughout the years where I watched her battle depression due to her new restraints, but like my mommy always has done, she overcame her inner demons and came out on the other side stronger.

Now we have another test.  The insurance company that she recieved  long term disability, decided to stop the payments with no due cause.  How is it that we live in a society that forces us to pay monthly to insurance companies, thinking that they will be there for us when needed, and then surprise!! They say,” screw you, we just wanted your money and not help you at all. ”  I don’t get it.  My mind is swarming with thoughts, unfortunately, not the nicest towards this particular company.  Researching it on-line, apparently they have a history of “mentally abusing” their clients.  The stress and pain they have caused my family throughout the years, I wouldn’t wish  on my worst enemy.  I even hope the president of  this insurance co. gets better treatment if ever needed than we have.  No one deserves to have every sense of security ripped out from underneath you, especially someone so incredible as my mommy.  I know we all have to keep the faith and put  it in Gods hands and that everything happens for a reason for us to learn from…but still…I wouldn’t mind the test of how to react to winning the lottery and then funding the cure to fibromyalgia. 

Blessed be

My daughter just turned 8 months old, and she just amazes me!!!  For those who have children, how in Gods’ name did we ever create something so perfect and amazing?  I believe that before coming back to  live another life, we choose who we encounter to learn from.  Hence, my daughter CHOSE ME to be her mother.  She wanted to learn from me. That is just incredible.  I look at her in awe.  As a mother, I love watching her discover something new…how to wave…clap her hands…make silly faces.  Then you throw in the other side of me, my spiritual side, and I’m dying to pick her brain.  She still knows EVERYTHING!!!  I could learn so much from her, but all she says is goo-goo.  Actually, I already have learned a great deal from her.  Before having her, I was never vocal enough when defending myself.  I would bite my tongue and swallow blood in fear of making matters worse.  Once I had her, it was a whole other ball game.  I REFUSE for anyone to hurt her like they have to me in the past.  Basically, my throat chakra is wide open!!!!!  So in 8 short months, I grew myself a set of balls. 🙂

I thank God everyday for her, but I also always  remember to thank her for choosing me as her mommy.  Because of her I am a better person, and I can’t wait to share all the other lessons I am supposed to learn with her!

As I mentioned on my home page, I am a hairstylist.  I’ve been in the hair industry for about 10 years, (and not to brag or anything, but I know my shit!) 🙂  Within those 10 years, I have met so many different women, all walks of life.  I have to say, we are an incredible gender.  Being a hairstylist, people tend to open up to me about their personal lives.  I think it is easy for people to talk about personal issues to a third party.  Whether it be to just blow off steam or be a shoulder to cry on, I’ve been a psychiatrist to countless clients.  That brings me to this post. 

I can not tell you how many times I have had clients come in and breakdown.  Some facing unfaithful partners, sudden deaths in the family (one especially heart breaking when she lost her teenage daughter),  bitter divorces, and work related issues.  It pains me to see my clients, my friends, in this “darker place”, because to me, as an outsider looking in, it is incredible to see how they have grown and changed.  I’m not going to lie, there are a couple who concern me.  They see themselves at the bottom of a hole and can’t seem to find a way out.  I just continue to offer my support (and advice if wanted) and hope they soon realize how special they are, even to me, just their stylist.

  At the same time, I am amazed to witness the transformation of  these  women.  Some of which, in the past, would come in with a timid demeanor, and now are evolving  into this beacon of strength.   For the most part,  I have seen women embrace life again…  being feisty, taking chances, living without fear.  Realizing that just because a certain chapter is complete in their life, does not mean their story has ended.    

Everyone’s life is forever changing.  That is the only way we learn and grow… you just have to be willing to ask yourself… can you be strong enough to let go of the past, wise enough not to obsess over the future, and passionate enough to embrace the present.  When you get down to it, all we have is the present…this one moment. This one second in your life where everything may not be as you like it, but it is yours to do with.   Seize the day!!!

Blessed be

hello world! My name is Michelle and I have joined the blogging realm to share my thoughts and if pursued, help bring alternative, spiritual thinking to the masses.  I am 26 years old and a double Taurus (for better or worse):)!  I love to express creativity through all forms of art, mostly painting, but luckily I’m a hairstylist, so I get to create art everyday!!!  I am also happily married and we are blessed with an incredible daughter!

My views concerning religion were not always “unconventional”.  I was born an Italian, devout-Catholic.  Raised up north, Philly, you were pretty much either Catholic or Jewish.  It wasn’t until I was 12 and meeting my stepmother that I realized there was any other form of Christianity.  (I know, pretty sad, but true). 

It was at the age of 14, moving down South, that my views started to change.  I started to question the basic teachings of my church and pretty much my whole religious upbringing.  I attended a new church with my mom and stepfather called Unity, (not Unitarian).  It was a nondenominational church that focused on meditation, serenity and inner peace.  This was the “dawn of my new era”.  From then I learned all I could on meditation, crystal therapy, chakra alignment, forms of natural healing and even all forms of conventional religion. 

I have found over the years, that  peoples basic instinct, insist on trying to label me into a category.  Whether it be Buddhist, Hindu, or even Wiccan, a lot of people don’t seem to understand Universal Love.  I have a passion for learning ALL religions and their  cultures  fascinate me.  My theory on religion is a wagon wheel.  Imagine a wagon wheel with spokes.  Each spoke representing a different religion.  Each strong and independent with their own unique energy.  Non the less, they all lead to one center.  I do not care if you call it Jesus, Kuan Yin, or Buddha, It all represents a greater power.  Something greater than our own selves.  Something that we as humans strive to be closer to.  If people just took a closer look at religion as a whole, you would see that basically all religion say the same thing. (You need to look beyond the politics of a culture to see the belief). It is that we all reach and pray for something greater.

So, there you have it.  I am an incense burning (LOVE NAG CHAMPA), meditating, chakra aligning, seeker of Nirvana kinda gal.  Who also enjoys talking with Ganesha, Kuan Yin, the Blessed Mother, and Jesus.  Not to forget my dearest Life Guides, guardian angels, and relatives on the other side. 

So thank you for taking a few minutes by reading my blog.  I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it

Blessed be!

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